Date 2: the technology guy

If I were in a bar and liked the look of someone I could do one of four things:

  • Very brave: Walk over and buy him a drink
  • Less brave: Make sure he sees me, smile and play with my hair
  • Coward: Hope that he sees me and wait until he comes over for a chat
  • Loser: Absolutely nothing

When you are dating online, your choices are slightly different:

  • Very brave: Send him a sparkly email inviting him to get to know me better
  • Less brave: Add him to my ‘favourites’ so he knows I’ve noticed him
  • Coward: Hope that he finds me
  • Loser: Absolutely nothing

Date 2 is with the only person I have met online who sent me an email first. He also sent me his phone number and a request to meet, all within 2 days of first noticing me. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the Technology Guy:

– Charming, genuine, intelligent, kind, warm, loyal, interesting, sensitive and quirky

– Impeccable taste in clothes

– Loves comedy and thought provoking movies

– Would love to find someone who has her own teeth

Having learnt from my date with the Property Guy, I was not expecting him to look like his picture, or be any of the above. He wanted me to pick a place and I chose an All Bar One. This is one bar chain that I actually like. I frequent the one on Regent Street for lunch and drinks after work. The large, airy room with lots of mirrors and a library of wine bottles is safe and bright even on the most dreary day.

It has been a dreary week. The adrenalin rush from my sky dive and the joyous high of my promotion have finally died out and instead of seeing miles of opportunity all I seem to be facing is a lonely road ahead. I now find myself heading a department that didn’t exist until a few weeks ago. I don’t have a team and instead a dotted reporting line to eight Partners who believe that tough love is the only way to encourage someone. I’m not panicking at the challenge, nor do I want to sound ungrateful, but I am beginning to question what I get out of a life, out of a job, that is only taking me farther away from everything that is familiar, and everyone who loves me. I am seriously beginning to question if I will find any reference points so far away from India.

The Technology Guy in real life looks exactly like he does in his online life. Promising! And then we begin the tedious process of getting to know each other from scratch. How are you, how was your week, siblings, favourites…

Him, “Do you play a sport?”

Me, “I used to enjoy squash. Unfortunately a knee injury 10 years ago doesn’t allow me hard surface sports anymore.”

Him, “That’s a shame. I could have whisked you off to my squash court one weekend for a game. I love squash. Just the other day, I watched this documentary on Pakistani squash champion Jahangir Khan who….”

Me, “Do you go to the cinema often?”

Him, “I went the last time I had a girlfriend. Maybe two years ago?”

Me, “Oh, you don’t like watching movies then?”

Him, “I like movies that make me think. Movies that are deep and moving. I also enjoy comedies like Borat. Just the other day, I watched this documentary on Sacha Cohen…”

Him, “Do you live on your own? Renting?”

Me, “Yes, and on my own. I used to share but I didn’t enjoy sharing the TV remote control and oven after a while.”

Him (not even a smile), “I bought my house in 1997 and am now saving for a loft conversion, so I share. I have a lovely garden – its so important to have a garden, to be able to nurture nature. (I am trying very, very hard not to roll my eyes at this point.) Just the other day, I watched this documentary that said a house without a garden is like a relationship without children…

Me (not even pretending anymore), “So I’m guessing you want children then?”

Him, “Oh yes. At least three. It is so important to have siblings you know. Just the other day, I watched this documentary …

The thought of my children being forced to pluck weeds and watch documentaries was more than enough for me to politely decline a second drink and run home. At least I didn’t waste my good shoes on this one.



Filed under Bar, Bar food, Communal tables, Date, London

7 responses to “Date 2: the technology guy

  1. i snorted my coffee at your last sentence. you are funnnny, man.

  2. Such a funny girl you are. priceless!

  3. Padmini

    oh dear….
    try or – there may well be a desi out there living in london!

  4. Priyankaa

    Correct Gouri! My tea is all over the table right now. Pooj, think maybe steer away from online dates….

  5. Priyankaa

    you think the PR guy will make a presentation during your date. “This slide explains my family tree…. ” or “If you turn to page 4…” hee hee

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